


all aboard the dumbass express

by 3racha (cosmic97), cosmic97



Series: chatfics [2]
Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Chatting & Messaging, M/M, Mentioned Choi Yeonjun, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Shy Kang Yeosang, Skater Kang Yeosang, Social Anxiety, Texting, chatfic, seongjoong have the braincells, theyre all messes, wooyoung is a good friend, yeosang struggles with anxiety
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-14
Updated: 2020-06-14
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:48:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 4,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22242097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosmic97/pseuds/3racha, https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosmic97/pseuds/cosmic97
Summary: love at first sight is overrated! love at first crash? now that's in!or the chatfic where yunho runs into -- literally -- his long time crush and seven idiots become eight.
Relationships: Choi San/Jung Wooyoung, Jeong Yunho/Kang Yeosang, Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa
Series: chatfics [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1444567
Comments: 32
Kudos: 251





	1. i told you so

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it all begins with a crash.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello!  
> this is my first time writing for ateez and I'm a baby atiny (even though i've known about ateez since pirate king) so please be kind ><  
> i really hope you guys like it. enjoy ~
> 
> p.s yeosang doesn't appear until chapter two
> 
> usernames:
> 
> dad hwa - seonghwa  
> dad joong - hongjoong  
> teddy - yunho  
> sin - san  
> squish - wooyoung  
> rap god - mingi  
> apple baby - jongho

**two dads and their trainwreck children (7):**

**10:01am**

**teddy:** AKKSOSODOOOD

**teddy:** H ELP

**teddy:** I FUCKED UP

**rap god:** already??

**rap god:** its 10am yunho

**teddy:** AIWKOD9XIEK

**sin:** oh my god what did you do

**squish:** oh now you've done did it, he'll never shut up

**teddy:** WELL SINCE YOU ASKED

**apple baby:** oh boy we'll be here for hours

**teddy:** a nyway

**teddy:** i was on my way to class, as one is

**teddy:** just minding my business

**teddy:** and you know how seonghwa hyung is always like "yunho stop being on your phone while you walk, you'll bump into someone."

**squish:** yes, he says it every day and you say, "you're not my real dad"

**teddy:** yeah well… 🥴🥴

**sin:** oh no

**squish:** you didn't 

**teddy:** i did 😭😭😭

**rap god:** this is so funny ajsks

**dad hwa:** i just want to say I told you so

**teddy:** i haven't even gotten to the worst part yet 😭😭

**apple baby:** how can it get worse??

**teddy:** i didn't just bump into him 😭😭 I crashed into him and he was skateboarding so I basically sent him flying 

**teddy:** and i stood there like a dumbass gaping before I saw who it was and 

**teddy:**

****

**teddy:** it was him

**sin:** KSKSKSKDO

**squish:** you really crashed into the boy you've been crushing on for weeks i'm 😭😭😭

**rap god:** i'm so glad I'm awake rn, I'm thriving

**teddy:** but wait there's more 😭😭

**apple baby:** oh god what did you do

**teddy:** i was so flustered from knocking him over and he looked so pretty

**teddy:** i wanted to say "I'm fucking sorry" but also ask "are you okay" at the same time and i 

**teddy:** i said "are you fucking sorry??" 😭😭😭😭

**teddy:** he looked like he was holding back tears I'm gonna kms 😭😭😭

**rap god:** YUNHO AKSKSKEKEK

**sin:** I CANT MF BREATH 

**squish:** UEJEKK THIS IS SO FUNNY 

**apple baby:** hyung I say this with all due respect, you're so mf dumb 😭😭😭

**dad hwa:** oh you poor foolish child

**teddy:** ITS OVER I CAN NEVER SHOW MY FACE AGAIN 

**teddy:**

****

**rap god:** press a big f for yunho lads

**squish:** f

**sin:** f

**rap baby:** f

**dad hwa:** f

**dad joong:** f

**teddy:** f 😭😭😭😭😭😭

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> they're such a mess ajakk  
> also yunho hasn't told anyone exactly who he likes (like name wise) so they know he likes someone but they don't know who it is. he'll just start going on about Him and everyone is like ahh yes the mystery boy. more will be explained as the story goes on!
> 
> anyway i really hope you guys enjoyed the first chapter! I'm currently working on chapter two as we speak so that should be up sometime soon! comments and kudos are much appreciated. have a nice day / night everyone!
> 
> [twitter](https://mobile.twitter.com/cosmic_3racha)
> 
> [cc](https://curiouscat.me/cosmic_3racha)


	2. wooyoung: cancelled

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wooyoung: i connected the dots  
> yeosang: you haven't connected shit  
> wooyoung: i've connected them!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *slams head on table* vibe check! thank you for all the kudos 🥺🥺 i hope y'all enjoy chapter two ~
> 
> p.s i'm sure you'll figure out who is who between yeosang and wooyoung's gc but here is the usernames for the soulmate gc:  
> soul - wooyoung  
> mate - san

**bEsT frIEnDs oF fiVe yEArs (2):**

**10:40am**

**ponytail:** BITCH

**ponytail:** you'll never believe what happened to me this morning

**ponytail:** I swore I almost cried 😭😭😭

**dance dance:** Who am I fighting? give me a name 

**ponytail:** some big bitch 😭😭

**ponytail:** i was just minding my business skateboarding and some dude practically sent me flying in the other direction because he was too busy on his phone

**ponytail:** and the worst part was he looked at me and then said "are you fucking sorry?" before walking away

**ponytail:** i almost cried on the spot 😭😭😭 I DIDNT EVEN DO ANYTHING

**dance dance:** excuse me for a moment

**soulmates (2):**

**11:02am**

**soul:** IAKSOZOZOW

**soul:** YOU'LL NEVER BELIEVE WHAT I HAVE JUST DISCOVERED 

**soul:** this tea,,,this discovery,,,priceless

**mate:** SPILL

**soul:** yknow how yunho was a dumb bitch this morning and ran into his crush 

**mate:** yes I was there when he told the gc

**soul:** i'll let that slide cos I'm too excited

**soul:** y'know how yunho has never told us who his crush is and all he'll say is that he's this pretty, quiet boy in his economics class?

**mate:** yes, get to it!!

**soul:** i'm getting there !!

**soulmate:** anyway today yeosang messaged me and I quote "some dude practically sent me flying in the other direction because he was too busy on his phone."

**mate:** oh my god

**mate:** YUNHO'S CRUSH IS YEOSANG???

**soul:** YES!!!! 

**mate:** oh my god oh my god

**mate:** yknow what I can see it, it would be cute

**soul:** right!!

**mate:** so beloved boyfriend of mine, what are we going to do about this

**soul:** hmm

**soul:** y'know it's about time the group met yeosangie, don't you think?

**mate:** oh hoho I love how you think

**mate:** we shouldn't tell them we know

**mate:** we should just suggest everyone hang out, I mean yeosang is ur best friend of five years, it's about time they all met 

**mate:** and just watch it blow up when they see each other 

**soul:** god ur so evil

**soul:** im like so turned on rn

**mate:** ;))))))

**bEsT frIEnDs oF fiVe yEArs (2):**

**11:35am**

**ponytail:** BITCH DID U DIE??

**dance dance:** sorry I was texting san

**ponytail:** you really left me,,,in my time of need,,,to get ur dick wet

**dance dance:** yeah

**ponytail:** i hate u

**ponytail:** wooyoung: cancelled

**dance dance:** stop being dramatic 

**dance dance:** ur fine 

**ponytail:** i may be fine on the outside but I'm dead on the inside 

**dance dance:** okay mr. angst

**dance dance:** yknow it's been a while but can I ask you something

**ponytail:** that's an abrupt topic change and I'll prolly regret this but sure, go ahead

**dance dance:** would you consider meeting my friend group 

**ponytail:** wooyoung…

**dance dance:** i know, I know

**dance dance:** i would never push you out of your boundaries but it's been two years 

**dance dance:** please, just consider it, for me 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

**ponytail:** ugh

**ponytail:** fine

**dance dance:**

****

**ponytail:** die

**dance dance:** you love meeeeeee

**ponytail:** oh would you look at that, I gotta feed my fish, goodbye

  
 **dance dance:** you can deny it but u love me yeosangieeee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and scene!  
> i love writing woosan cos in this au they just share one brain cell akksks also more will be revealed later on about why yeosang hasn't met the group but it has to do with social anxiety! woo is the best bffl and doesn't push him to do anything that would make him uncomfortable.  
> also,,,,yunho doesn't know yeosang's name ajksksks that's why he's never made the connection that woo's best friend yeosang is his crush. woo talks about yeosang a lot but doesn't show pics (out of respect for yeosang) so yunho just categorizes yeosang as "woo's best friend" when he's really his crush.  
> they're a mess tbh.  
> anyway I hope you liked the chapter! comments and kudos are very much appreciated and I hope to see y'all soon 🥰 have a nice day / night everyone!


	3. that shit was poetic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yunho is whipped, woosan talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and we are back! a quick hello to all my new (and old) readers. i appreciate all the support and i hope you enjoy this chapter. apologies for it being so short ~

**two dads and their trainwreck children (7):**

**12:22pm**

**teddy:** AKKSKSK

**teddy:** HE !!!

**teddy:**

****

**teddy:** HE'S SO CUTE

**rap god:**

****

**apple god:** what did mystery boy do this time hyung?

**teddy:** i knew u were my favorite for a reason 

**rap god:** really, right in front of my salad huh?

**rap god:** i've known u since first grade, I have blackmail

**teddy:** so do I

**rap god:** good point continue on

**teddy:** i was in economics trying to pay attention to mr. kim (but not really) and I could see him from my seat and 😭😭😭

**teddy:** i could see him drawing his little mascot again and my heart zoomed 

**teddy:** he's so precious 🥺💗

**soulmates (2):**

**12:43pm**

**soul: 🤢🤢**

**soul:** i'm going to hurl

**soul:** now that I know he's talking about yeosang it's just 😷😷

**mate:** stop being such an overprotective brother, it's cute

**mate:** wish someone would talk about me like that 🤪🤪

**soul:** babe I told you your ass was thicc but your heart is thiccer 

**soul:** that shit was poetic

**mate:** oh you're sooooo right

**mate:** my bad

**soul:** you're being sarcastic and I dont like it

**mate:** i'm joking

**mate:** i love you, we all know this

**soul: 🥺💗💗💗💗💗**

**mate: 😭💗💗💗💗💗**

**mate:** anyway did yeosangie say anything about meeting the rest of the group?

**soul:** way to kill the mood but no

**soul:** he said he was going to make a pros and cons list but knowing him he'll flip a coin to decide

**mate:**

****

**soul:** ANSJSJEEJE

**soul:** listen I get it but he's my bestie and I respect his boundaries so we just gotta hope he opens up to the idea

**mate:** ugh I hate when ur right

**soul:** all in due time babe, all in due time

**mate:** god I hope it's soon, if I have to hear yunho go on about yeosang one more time I'm pulling the trigger

**soul:** mood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and scene!  
> if you're wondering why yeosang has never seen or heard yunho even tho they share a class, it comes from my own experience. ive been doing online classes for a year now but when i was on campus i knew like two people in my entire class akksks i was just there to learn and be gone and yeosang is the same.  
> dw they will meet eventually!!  
> in the next chapter we meet yeosang and wooyoung's other best friend. a hint: he trained with them when they were in bighit ~ 
> 
> i'll see yall in a few days, comments are much appreciated, have a nice day/night everyone!


	4. how the mighty have fallen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yeosang goes to a close friend for advice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello and welcome back. today yeonjun from txt joins us as he's woosang's other best friend. i'll go more into detail about their friendship at the end, enjoy ~
> 
> who is who for the dumb and dumber gc:  
> dumb: yeosang  
> dumber: yeonjun

**dumb and dumber (2):**

**3:30pm**

**dumb:** i'm going to regret doing this but

**dumb:** i need ur advice

**dumber:** owo

**dumber:** whats this 

**dumber:** kang yeosang coming to me? for advice?

**dumber:** oh my, how the mighty have fallen

**dumb:** this was a mISTAKE GOODBYE 

**dumber:** i already took screenshots and can send them to wooyoung in less than a minute so spill

**dumb:** i hate u so much u lil gremlin 

**dumb:** i need new friends 

**dumber:** don't we all, now spill

**dumb:** hnghh

**dumb:** wooyoung asked me to meet his friend group and i feel bad saying no to him!!

**dumb:** we've been friends for five years and he has never asked anything from me. he's always respected my boundaries and never pushed me and always made sure i was firm when I said no bc he didn't want people to take advantage of the fact that i'm a pushover 

**dumb:** he use to ask a lot when he first got integrated into his current friend group and i never gave a for sure no which is why he kept asking

**dumb:** and then i met san who i love even tho hes a horny bastard but obviously that's why he's perfect for woo and wooyoung thought it was the perfect opportunity for me to finally join his friend group and i snapped and said no and he never brought it up again 

**dumb:** im rambling, you know i overthink, but :((( if i say no wooyoung won't push me and i love him for that but i'm worried it'll create distance like last time and i do want to meet his friends i'm just a dumb anxious mess and i'm scared they'll see how inadequate i am and wooyoung will finally realize I'm not worth the hassle

**dumber:** you done?

**dumb:** yeah.. 

**dumber:** i'm not woo so i'm going to be realer with you and you know i wont hold back but that's what you need and i know you know that bc you came to me

**dumber:** you're being dumb but not for the reasons u think or bc u are dumb cos ur not, you're getting a law degree, you got the brain

**dumber:** woo loves you a lot, we both know this. if you say no he will respect it and that distance is in your head sangie, he would never push you away for being firm and taking his advice in making boundaries 

**dumber:** i'm glad u realize why ur afraid of meeting them but ur reasoning is ridiculous and you know that. it's okay to be scared but you cant go through life letting fear dominate you and i know it's harder for you because of your anxiety but you have to take steps to push yourself instead of retreating back to what feels familiar 

**dumber:** you've always let yourself live a half life bc of fear. go for it, meet his friends, give it a try. if not for yourself, for woo. think of how happy itll make him and use that strength to go outside ur comfort zone

**dumber:** just one meeting and if you dont like it, just tell him, i'm sure wooyoung wouldn't mind. he wants you to be comfortable above anything else but don't take advantage of that and hide behind it

**dumb:** you're right

**dumb:** thank you

**dumb:** i get overwhelemed and overthink things and sometimes i just need someone to be honest with me

**dumber:** i know babe, wooyoung isnt the only one who loves you

**dumb:** u-uwu?

**dumber:** GROSS

**dumber:** no mush 

**dumb:** i love you too u lil gremlin

**dumb:** i gotta go but u better be free next weekend for our monthly meetup

**dumber:** i always have time for my fans 🤩✌

**dumb:** 😷😷

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and scene!  
> if you read any of my other chatfics before, I got into a lot of backstory in the end notes so here it is:  
> \- wooyoung, yeosang and yeonjun all went to the same high school. wooyoung and yeonjun were best friends since middle school. in their second year of high school, wooyoung saw yeosang being bullied for being shy and a pushover. wooyoung was outraged when the bully got physical and was ready to stand up for him when yeosang bit the bully, kneed him in the groin and told him to eat shit. wooyoung knew in that moment that he had to be his best friend. he befriend yeosang who was reluctant and they became the three musketeers. wooyoung followed yeosang's path and went to their local uni while yeonjun chose to go to a uni two towns over. the three meet up once a month and do their best to stay besties.  
> \- in their freshman year of college (so last year of when this takes place) wooyoung met san in his theater class. the two hit off extremely well and we're always together. wooyoung was ready to date him but he need yeosang's approval so he had yeosang meet san. because wooyoung was so busy, yeosang didnt really go out and his only friend was changbin. he was lonely and sad that san was taking up all of wooyoung's time but when they met, they all got along so well that san considers yeosang their baby.  
> \- san integrated wooyoung into his friend group (the rest of ateez) when they started dating and wooyoung really wanted yeosang to become part of the friend group cos he liked everyone so he asked a lot. one time he asked and yeosang snapped and it just became tense which is why wooyoung never brought it up until now.  
> \- yeosang really struggles with his self esteem. he really is just scared of meeting new people because he's scared of how he'll be perceived. w  
> also wooyoung is the friend who never pushes, almost coddles you, not in the bad way so I wanted yeonjun to be like my best friend who may be blunt and honest but not in a way that's purposely malicious.  
> \- also yes yeosang is getting a law degree because i'm getting one.
> 
> okay i rambled a lot but if y'all have any questions or comments please feel free to leave them below! I'll see you in a few days, have a nice day / night everyone!


	5. plan get yeosang laid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yeosang hasn't slept in two days but he makes an important decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there's an important message at the end so please read the end notes. enjoy ~

**bEsT frIEnDs oF fiVe yEArs (2):**

**08:03am**

**ponytail:** i bringeth news

**ponytail:** i also havent slept in two days and can see colors now but that's fine

**dance dance:** oh my god? are you okay?

**ponytail:** i've ascended the mortal plane but yeah

**ponytail:** anyway I've decided I will meet your friends

**ponytail:** gotta be open and "get out the comfort zone" as some would say

**ponytail:** im so tired 🤪🤪🥴🥴🥴

**dance dance:** oh my god

**dance dance:** im happy you'll meet my friends but dont even attempt to go to class

**dance dance:** let me text san and I'll be right over

**ponytail:** im okay, you really dont have to

**dance dance:** not even an option

**dance dance:** stay in bed I'll be right there

**ponytail:** fine

**soulmates (2):**

**8:15am**

**soul:** babe I'll be at yeosang's

**soul:** dumb dumb hasnt slept in two days and didnt tell me so im gonna go take care of him

**mate:** ill come with!!

**mate:** sangie gets all cuddly when his insomnia peeks and I wanna make sure hes okay too

**mate:** that's OUR baby

**soul:** i love you so much what the fuck

**soul:** ill come pick you up then

**soul:** sangie also agreed to meet everyone so 🤩🤩🤩

**mate:** plan get yeosang laid start

**soul: 🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢**

**soul:** NOPE ABSOLUTELY NOT

**soul:** no one is touching my baby I have changed my mind

**mate:** you cant change fate babie!!

**soul:** gross, nope

**soul:** ill be there in five, get ready and think of a better name!!

**mate:** 🙄🙄🙄

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and scene!  
> i gave yeosang insomnia cos projection!  
> also woosan really be the presidents of the yeosang love and protection club ajskks. by the way they all live in different rooms but all the rooms are in the same dorm area? i don't live in the dorms aksks I dont know. i just mean to say they're not that far from each other. the only people who don't live in dorms are seongjoong cos they rent an apartment together.  
> okay big announcement. i don't really get a lot of comments which kind of hurts lol (not that its y'alls fault!) but i would really like some feedback for how they should all meet for the first time? i've written both ways out but i cant decide how ot8 should meet? should yeosang meet yunho for the first time irl or should yeosang be added to the gc then meet them irl? which idea do y'all like better? please do let me know!
> 
> anyway, i'll see you soon! have a nice day / night.


	6. he's a lil shit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wooyoung makes an announcement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank u for all the sweet comments on the last update ;; please enjoy this rather short one ~

**two dads and their trainwreck children (7):**

**4:09pm**

**squish:** gays

**squish:** i have news

**sin:** ooh we finally letting them know

**squish:** yup

**squish:** we gotta do this now before he changes his mind

**dad hwa:** oh god please tell me it's nothing illegal

**dad joong:** or morally ambiguous 

**squish:** the lack of faith is astounding but not surprising 

**rap god:** im surprised they even have faith to begin with 

**sin:** r00de

**rap god:** my point exactly 

**squish:** can we get back to the important part!

**squish:** i have important news

**sin:** very important!!

**sin:** this is OUR baby

**sin:** choose your next words wisely 🙂

**apple baby:** i am afraid and I'm not sure why

**apple baby:** hyung is as intimidating as a cupcake but this must be serious

**sin:** i take offense but it is serious 

**dad hwa:** okay, well what's going on?

**squish:** my best friend, MY CINNAMON APPLE, our BABY, my platonic soulmate, yeosang, has finally agreed to meet everyone so he's coming to our usual hangout on friday

**dad joong:** oh thank god

**dad joong:** for one second I thought one of you was pregnant before I remembered that was scientifically impossible 

**rap god:** ignoring that slightly disturbing comment

**rap god:** im glad we finally get to meet yeosang!

**rap god:** you talk about him all the time

**apple baby:** another hag 😷

**squish:** he is not a hag you gremlin!!! 

**squish:** he's the same age as me

**sin:** oh my god, 99 line will finally be complete <3

**teddy:** i call being leader!!

**rap god:** hey why do you get to be leader!!

**teddy:** im the oldest, duh

**rap god:** we're all the same age u dumb bitch

**teddy:** i was born first tho :)

**rap god:**

****

**teddy:** do it, I'd like to see you try

**apple baby:** why do all our conversations end up like this

**dad hwa:** because hongjoong and I are the only ones with brain cells

**apple baby:** i should be offended but I didnt think you could open two caprisuns at once 

**apple baby:** so you make a point 

**dad joong:** have kids they said, it'll be fun they said

**dad hwa:** they said have one not five

**sin: *** six!!!

**sin:** you'll fall in love with sangie the moment you lay eyes on him!!

**sin:** he's an angel

**squish:** he's a lil shit

**squish:** but I love him

**dad hwa:** god,,,,six kids,,,,

**dad hwa:** i need to take a nap for seven years gn

**rap god:** its 4pm??

**dad hwa:** i said good night!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and scene!  
> the next chapter will be about yeosang joining the gc so i hope ur all ready for that mess!  
> again, thank u for all ur kind messages! sorry i suck at responding but i really do appreciate them. any comments are welcomed, have a nice day / night everyone ~


	7. be gay and do crimes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> seonghwa slapping the adoption papers on the table: welcome home  
> yeosang: holy shit do u just carry those around?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry for the long wait but i hope you enjoy nonetheless ~
> 
> p.s this chapter hasn't been edited, I'll get back to that, I'm running on like 3 hours of sleep so ignore my mistakes ~

**bEsT frIEnDs oF fiVe yEArs (2):**

**12:02pm**

**dance dance:** you awake whore

**ponytail:** ,,,depends what's in it for me

**dance dance:** 🙄🙄

**dance dance:** you're meeting the crew on friday

**ponytail:** THIS FRIDAY??

**dance dance:** yee

**ponytail:** i need like a two week notif woo not two days!!

**dance dance:** you'll be okay 

**dance dance:** i talked to yeojun and he said it'd be best if we did this sooner than later because that way it limits how much time you can overthink and back out

**ponytail:** i hate when the gremlin is right

**dance dance:** he said he loves you too 

**ponytail:**

****

**ponytail:** hnghhh

**ponytail:** *got7 voice* i'm afraid

**ponytail:** you guys have all known e/o for so long i'm scared i won't fit in with you guys 😔😔

**dance dance:** it wont happen but if it'll make you feel any better, i can add you to our groupchat so you get a feel of the dynamics

**ponytail:** sounds not bad

**dance dance:** yes I'm so excited!!

**dance dance:** you'll fit in so well, let me go tell them

**two dads and their trainwreck children (7):**

**12:42pm**

**squish:**

****

**squish:** im adding yeosang to this gc to ease his nerves before he meets you guys so y'all better be kind to him 😤😤

**sin:** omg sangie in our gc,,,finally

**sin:** but like woo said,,,,treat him nice or

**sin:**

****

**rap god:** fresh meat, i love it

**dad hwa:** ignore him

**dad hwa:** we promise not to scare him

**dad hwa:** hopefully

**squish** has added **sunshine** to **two dads and their trainwreck children**

**dad hwa:** his username is sunshine,,,,that's so precious im 

**rap god:** yeosang hasn't even spoken and hwa hyung is like:

**rap god:**

****

**sin:** AJKSKSKS honestly

**squish:** yeosangie you can say hi, i promise they're better than they seem

**apple baby:** rude

**sunshine:** hi ><

**sunshine:** thank you for allowing me to be in your gc! 

**sunshine:** im sorry it's taken so long!!

**dad hwa:**

****

**dad hwa:** so pure,,,so gentle

**dad joong:** oh thank god

**dad joong:** idk if my sanity could handle another demon child 

**dad joong:** anyways 

**dad joong:** hello yeosang!

**dad joong:** welcome aboard, im hongjoong, residential dad #2

**sunshine:** dad #2?

**dad hwa:** i'm seonghwa and i would be dad #1!

**dad hwa:** we decided I would be dad #1 just because I'm a lil more responsible than joong

**rap god:** what he means is that he sleeps at a proper hour and doesn't tell you to be gay and do crimes

**dad joong:** that was one time!! 

**dad hwa:** why am I not surprised you actually did that 🥴

**dad joong:** moving on please!

**teddy:** it's me, ya boy, the leader of 99 line, yunho !!

**rap god:** we did not agree on you being leader!

**squish:** yeosang would be a good leader

**sunshine:** i have the anxiety and brain capacity of a chihuahua, try again

**apple baby:** on god, finally someone who is actually funny 

**rap god:** i feel!! insulted !!

**apple baby:** good

**squish:** yeosang you would do great, shut up

**sin:** please continue, they can go on for hours

**squish:** it would be you next dumb dumb

**sin:** yeosang is older than me!!

**sunshine:** it's less than a month!

**sin:** hag

**sunshine:** bitch

**squish:** oh my god, one of you just go

**sunshine:** uh i'm yeosang but you guys know that? i'm a gemini and am "too blunt for my own good" as wooyoung has told me multiple times

**squish:** people tend to get mad when you call out their flaws

**sunshine:** but am I wrong? no!

**99z are the most handsome (4)**

**1:22pm**

**teddy:** not to cheat on my mystery boy but yeosang is kind of hot 😳😳

**rap god:** god can you be any more submissive 

**soulmates (2):**

**1:25pm**

**soul:** oh this is so good

**mate:** it really can't get more entertaining than this

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg yes im alive hello! it's been a while. I'm sorry for taking so long, I have four classes and have started working so my brain is fried, like my brain is a nice deep friend twinkie.  
> this is only half of the intros because I felt like it cut off properly so yeosang will meet everyone else in the next chapter. they're not exchanging pics with their intros and that'll be addressed in the next chapter as well ~  
> also this fic will have some nsfw themes but it wont include actual smut (I'm Babie and cant write it to save my life) so if that's not ur cup of tea, I completely understand but that's why mingi said what he said. sub top yunho rise!  
> also askksk woosan really just be there, watching and knowing everything. they're having so much fun seeing yunho be attracted to yeosang's strong personality while not knowing yeosang is his mystery boy that he bumped into.
> 
> anyway, I'm not sure when the next chapter will be but thank u for sticking with me! please, with everything going on, stay safe y'all and have a nice day / night.


	8. we got u on tape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> introductions but make it gayer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im: sorry  
> an explanation will be given at the end, enjoy ~

**two dads and their trainwreck children (8):**

**1:29pm**

**sin:** alright who's next

**squish:** me but yeosang already knows me

**sunshine:** unfortunately 

**squush:** you love meee

**sunshine:** unfortunately 

**squish:** YOU ADMITTED IT!!!

**sin:** we got u on tape bitch

**sunshine:** i never said that

**sunshine:** i dont know a wooyoung, never heard of him

**squish:** akskkske 

**squish:** u love me 

**apple baby:** not that this isn't entertaining 

**apple baby:** but can we move this along

**squish:** this is homophobia but alright, mingi is next

**rap god:** that's me

**rap god:** what up, im mingi, I'm 20 and I never fucking learned how to read

**sin:** oh now u done did it

**sunshine:** A VINEEEE

**sunshine:** i fucking love vine

**sunshine:** miss that bitch

**rap god:** finally, a man of taste

**sunshine:** god, woo shouldve introduced us earlier,,,

**sunshine:** he kept me away from my vine-mate

**squish:** VINEMATE AJKSKSK 

**squish:** i hate ur lame ass

**squish:** also sir, I tried to introduce yall like two years ago 🥴

**sunshine:** irrelevant 

**sunshine:** if I had known someone would love vines as much as I do then I would've met them earlier

**sin:** it took us forever to convince you when all we needed was mingi 

**rap god:** what can i say besides youre welcome

**sunshine:** A MOANA REF AHHH

**sunshine:** marry me

**rap good:** 😳😳

**99z are the most handsome (4)**

**1:42pm**

**teddy:** dude!!!

**teddy:** stop making yeosang love you 😭😭

**teddy:** i wanna shoot my shot 😭😭

**rap god:** it's not my fault I'm perfect 

**rap god:** but I'll tone it down for u

**rap god:** god I'm the best

**rap god:** gonna get u that dick bro

**teddy:** MINGI AJSKSKEK

**two dads and their trainwreck children (8):**

**1:57pm**

**rap god:** sorry bro I have to decline 😔

**rap god:** i am a loyal man

**sunshine:** damn all the good ones are taken huh

**squish:** ajsksk mingi doesnt have a boyfriend

**squish:** hes just been in love with yeo hwanwoong for like a year now

**rap god:** way to rat me out bro

**rap god:** 99 line loyalty is dead 

**sunshine:** you like hwanwoong hyung??

**sunshine:** he's in my dance class!!

**sunshine:** i can put in a good word for you 🥰

**rap god:**

****

**rap god:** god bless

**rap god:** ur definently the only 99 liner with rights

**squish:** BITCH

**sunshine:** uwu

**rap god:** yknow, I cant accept ur hand in marriage but yunho is Like Right There and he likes vines and makes the best chicken ever

**teddy:** are you,,,hitting on yeosang for me?

**rap god:** ur welcome

**sunshine:** chicken??? I love chicken so much 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

**sunshine:** spare chicken sir 🤲🤲🤲 i will give u a smooch 🥺🥺

**99z are the most handsome (4)**

**2:10pm**

**teddy:** AHHHHHHHHHHHH

**rap god:** ur a mess

**rap god:** get it together bitch 

**soulmates (2):**

**2:11pm**

**soul:** incredible 

**mate:** you really can't make this shit up

**two dads and their trainwreck children (8):**

**2:18pm**

**teddy:** anytime you want chicken, just let me know

**teddy:** but that'll be one smooch sir 👉🏽😳👈🏽

**sunshine:** 😳😳

**apple baby:** yall done being gay or

**squish:**!!

**squish:** way to ruin the mood jongho

**apple baby:** i haven't had the chance to go!!

**apple baby:** and all this flirting is making my aro ass go 🤢🤢

**sunshine:** omg :((

**sunshine:** i dont wanna make u uncomfy!! we'll tone it down 😔😔

**apple baby:** god you're so nice

**apple baby:** how u are friends with the demons that are woosan, I will never understand

**sin:** hey!

**apple baby:** but you're fine hyung, I promise it doesnt make me uncomfortable!

**apple baby:** and I think yunho hyung would cry if you stopped 

**sunshine:** if ur sure 👉🏽😔👈🏽

**apple baby:** i am!

**apple baby:** also I'm jongho in case u didnt know

**apple baby:** i am unfortunately the youngest

**squish:** he's the baby!!

**apple baby:** not by choice

**sunshine:** omg the baby, how cute!!

**sunshine:** let hyung treat you to meal sometime ~ ♡♡

**apple baby:** yeosang hyung, i say this with my whole chest

**apple baby:** i would d word for you

**teddy:** rt

**sunshine: 🥺🥺🥺**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in this house, everyone is whipped for yeosang!  
> also hi, hello, it's been forever since I last updated and I just wanna apologize for that. i kind of lost motivation for this fic and then covid happened and I've been in not the best place mentally. also school takes up so much of my time. i have to be honest and say I might not update for a while because I have no idea where I'm going with this fic. when I first started it, I was so excited because I was reading so many chatfics but none of them were yunsang and yunsang is my fave ship in ateez so I was like Hey, I'll Just Make My Own. And so I did that but I never really sat down to plan where I wanted this story to go and I know for some people thats fine but I'm someone who Has to know everything and plan shit out before I can actually work on it.  
> so yeah, you might not see me for a while but I really hope I can come back soon with a more regular update schedule and an actual plot.  
> also sorry of this chapter isnt the best, I'm rusty and aidkkdkdod I was ready to end the chapter and I was like "shit, I haven't introduced jongho" and just panicked so that's why the ending is not amazing.  
> Also yes jongho is aro because I'm on the aro spectrum and of course I had to make mingi be in love with hwanwoong. that's one good crossover ship <3\. ignore the order in which they're introduced, it was suppose to go by age order but I forgot ajsksk, love that for me!  
> I'll see you when I see you, stay safe and have a nice day / night.
> 
> p.s I have a twitter @cosmic_3racha, come say hi!


	9. everybody loves yeosang (but woosan love him the most)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in times of worry & hesitation, wooyoung and san to the rescue!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> surprise!  
> in honor of yeosang day, here's a chapter, enjoy ~
> 
> two soulmates & a baby:  
> soul - woo  
> mate - san  
> baby - yeo

**two soulmates & a baby (3):**

**6:06am**

**baby:** so hypothetically speaking, if you cut your leg off, where would you feel the pain at

**soul:** yeosang it's 6am 

**baby:** that Doesn't answer my question

**mate:** have you slept at all??

**baby:** that's self-incrimination sir!

**soul:** why is my best friend an actual dumbass

**mate:** rt x100

**baby:** this is homophobia 

**soul:** we're literally all gay here??

**baby:** i'm pan but go off

**soul:** you know what i meant, now what's really going on?

**baby:** why must something be going on

**baby:** is it not enough for a gay to ask his homos a question?

**mate:** no

**mate:** now c'mon on

**mate:** you know we would never judge you

**baby:** i'm fine!

**baby:** i'm just anxious I guess, idk?

**soul:** about tomorrow?

**baby:** yeah... 

**soul:** what's making you anxious sangie?

**baby:** i'm just afraid i'm gonna fuck up

**baby:** i mean *gestures to all of me* i'm a trainwreck obv

**baby:** i just keep imaging how it'll all go down...

**baby:** i'm scared they'll see how awkward and socially inept i am and hate me ;;

"as if anyone could hate you."

yeosang jumps, phone slipping out of his hand and smacking him right in the face.

"ow!"

he turns to glare at wooyoung and san who are standing in his room. _how the hell...?_

oh right, wooyoung had a key because "best friend duties." 

wooyoung rolls his eyes, a little amused but mostly concerned "you're such a dumb bitch."

"not helping babe." san said before jumping onto the bed.

yeosang shrieks and tries to protect himself from being hit by the absolute menace that is choi san. he manages to dodge the knee to the crotch but still hits his cheek against san's giant head.

"wooooo ~" he whines, "control your demon!"

wooyoung chuckles, even as san complains that _he is not a demon, thank you very much_ and climbs into bed as well.

yeosang grumbles. sure he had a bigger bed then most but it still wasn't meant to hold 3 grown men.

"you guys are so mean."

he probably sounds like a child but it's six in the morning, he hasn't slept _at all_ and the voices in his head have been crueler than usual.

"shush and listen to the all wise wooyoung--"

"all wise my ass."

"-- i'm ignoring that because we are a positive household. we're here to tell the voices to fuck off. as your best friend, i can vouch that it's an honor to be your friend and you are wonderful!"

yeosang's cheeks flare from the compliment but he scrunches up his nose in displeasure, "you're my best friend, of course you would say all that. they'll be meeting me from an unbiased perspective."

san nuzzles his cheek against his, a large smile on his face, "and that's why i'm here! i'm your friend _now_ but i met you only a year and a half ago and i had no clue who you were."

"gee thanks."

san flicks his ear and yeosang sticks his tongue out at him.

wooyoung sighs, pulling both their ears lightly to get their attention.

"what san is trying to say is he met you, without knowing you, just like they will and he adores you. the voices are loud and it's hard to believe otherwise but you're great to to have around and every first meeting is kind of awkward but that's just what happens. it'll pass like all things do but that initial awkwardness is not a reflection of your character."

he wraps his arms around yeosang, his voice going soft, "you're not going to fuck anything up. you're going to do fine and if - which I doubt it - anything _does_ happen, you have to trust that san and i will get you out of there."

the tension leaves yeosang's body as he takes a deep breath. he can feel the warmth from wooyoung and san, repeats their words in his head and let's himself relax. 

there's no guarantee he won't mess up or be awkward but he trusts wooyoung and san. he knows they love and care about him and would go to the ends of the earth to make him feel comfortable and safe. if he can't trust himself, the least he can do is trust _them._

"i hate when you make sense." yeosang murmurs. 

wooyoung rolls his eyes, "one of has to"

he tries to sound annoyed but it's all an act. it's not convincing, especially not when he leans forward to place a kiss on yeosang's forehead.

he scrunches up his nose, his heart fluttering from the affection. he'll say he hates it but he loves nothing more than when people coddle him.

"oh are we kissing sangie?? i want a turn!" 

yeosang shrieks as san places kisses all over his face.

"woo save me!"

.

woo laughs, loud and bright, and places his own kisses. yeosang giggles as he half heartedly tries to escape to no avail. 

maybe tomorrow will go smoothly. maybe it'll go so bad that he can't show his face on campus anymore. who knows, the possibilities are endless. 

what he _does_ know is that regardless of what happens, he is loved by two of the greatest people he will ever meet. and at the end of the day, that's all that matter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and scene.  
> god they're so cute. fun fact, I almost made this scene woosansang before I was like "wait alex ur writing yunsang ausiidks" I just have lots of feelings for woosansang, okay? maybe I'll write a fic for them some day, who knows! if yall ship woosansang, let me know so maybe...i can write sumn 👁👅👁  
> this chapter is posted in honor of yeosang's bday! he is one of my ults and means so so much to me! I hope he gets lots of sweets and kisses :((
> 
> I'm still figuring this story out and I'm starting school again so I'm not sure when I'll be posting again, sorry ;; in the meanwhile if you'd like to read something else and you stan nct + wayv, check out my demigod au fic called "becoming my own self-fulfilled prophecy." it's under the same user!
> 
> since itll be a while, come say hi on my twitter! I'll also be posting some bday art for sangie.  
> stay safe everyone and have a nice day ~ ❤❤❤
> 
> [twitter](https://mobile.twitter.com/cosmic_3racha)


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